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C., says she feels frustrated, hurt and even betrayed when she sees Black men with women of other races, but happy when she sees Black women in an interracial relationship."I'm like, Yes, girl, do that," says Lachon. Women are taking control of their happiness."Dating interracially can still come with backlash for both Black men and women.Lachon, who is seeing a White man, has experienced her share of adverse reaction."I've come across a lot of men who tell me I should be ashamed and say things like, "It's not too late to come home" or "He won't know what to do with all of that." I've heard it all. But the negative comments can be more distressing when they come from family or close friends."I don't want these men anyway, because I'm not trying to be a part of somebody's intellectual development as a partner." Many of the sisters in her circle take the fact that some Black guys prefer women who don't look like their mothers personally."Every time some famous man is on display with his White woman, a lot of my friends will have something negative to say or something that seems like they feel betrayed, as if that man is a representation of all Black men," Brooks says."It felt like confirmation of my insecurity as a dark-skinned Black woman who was single."But Brooks, a pediatrician, says she no longer cares who Black men date."There are some who really think that White or non-Black women are superior," Brooks says.A long conversation with his mother helped him understand why some Black women in the family were hurt by his decision."When I was able to step back and put myself in their shoes, I could understand their perspective, even though I didn't agree," Hargrove says. Some of Hargrove's in-laws made it known that he wasn't welcome.
It didn't matter to me if she was Black or White."That's why he was surprised at the negative reaction he received from some loved ones, mainly those in North Carolina.
So when she met a White accountant from Mississippi online in 2013, got engaged to him in 2014 and married him in 2015, her friends were shocked."When he proposed, they were like, "We didn't know it was that serious. " I had people question if this was what I wanted," says Meador, who serves as general counsel and vice-president at a nonprofit.
"These are professional people who work with all races and ethnicities. They were supportive in the end, but we still have issues today."Meador, who describes herself as a "chocolate, thick girl with locs," says she and her husband, Michael, 31, have clashed with her pals.
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When the former professional athlete announced his engagement to his college sweetheart, Trayce, a White woman, some of the ladies in his family did not hesitate to express their disappointment."It was hard for them," says Hargrove. When they found out I was getting married to a White woman, it was, "They're taking all our good men. ""Hargrove comes from a military family and says he grew up in diverse environments, including living in Germany for four years and moving to California when he was 15."Interracial relationships are all over the West Coast, so I could see a successful Black woman not be able to find that good Black man, in a sense.